Values related to one’s self
Each participant takes full responsibility for their experience in the community. This includes responsibility for everything one says and does. We aspire to choose our words and deeds out of self awareness and free will.
We are also responsible to ask for help when we feel the need for it, and we are open to receiving guidance, support, and feedback from others.
To be a member of the community, one must have a high degree of personal responsibility, and the ability to take care of oneself, to be attentive to oneself, do only what is right for them, and respect the limits of oneself and of others.
Challenging our self
Our relation to others
Respecting another person means respecting and not violating their personal sovereignty: not doing something to another person without their consent. It means posing requests rather than demands, and not trying to get something from them by deceit. There is no coercion, and no one is obligated to do anything they don’t want to do.
It’s being considerate of other people and their wishes, their space and time. For example, trying not to make noise that disturbs others, and leaving every place clean and without garbage, in a better condition than we found it.
We do not share any information about other people that we hear or see during group meetings. This is out of respect for others, because sometimes people share personal things they don’t want others outside the meeting to know about them. We can share only about our own personal experience – how we felt and thought and what we did.
Non judgmental attitude
All participants agree not to respond negatively to anything others say. Instead, listen with an open heart, with respect, acceptance, and compassion, so that healing can take place. If we accidentally judge someone because of automatic habits, we can take responsibility for our actions and apologize. Read more here…
Responsibility to others
When someone seems to us to be in a situation that is too painful or not good for them, or it seems to us that someone is in a vulnerable state and is unable to communicate and respect their own boundaries – do we have a responsibility to intervene and do something about it?
Out of caring, we can certainly ask that person if he or she is ok, and offer help. Still, we must remember that ultimately, it is that person’s responsibility to learn to guard himself and not be dependent on others. We are not supposed to play the role of “savior”, and in fact, that may perpetuate in the other person a self-perception of a helplessness or victimhood. Also, it is possible that our interpretation of the situation is mistaken, or that we don’t really know what is good for the other person, even when we feel very certain that we do know.
A central goal in the community, so that it is truly a community and not merely a collection of people with shared values, is to create close and deep connection among its members.
Sharing our personal issues and vulnerability. This is what creates a close connection between people.
Expressing what I really feel and think (always in a constructive manner that contributes to the connection rather than harm it – see compassionate communication).
Everyone who joins the community gets a warm and friendly welcome from existing members, to give the newcomers a feeling that they are wanted. No one who joins the community should have to make efforts by him/herself to make connections and to handle feelings of isolation and loneliness. The friendly attitude to each other of course continues later at all times.
Caring about others in the community. Actively searching for ways to make other people’s lives more wonderful, endowing them with things they need or want that improve their lives, without expecting anything in return. This creates a community of abundance, where our needs are met, and we derive pleasure and satisfaction from giving.
There are a few values that relate to the way we communicate in our community. Some of them stem from mutual respect and treating others as we would like them to treat us.
Listening without interrupting. Talking without harsh words or ridicule. Talking succinctly and interactively so as not to take over the conversation.
Learning from each other
The purpose of the community is to empower each of its members to discover the unique way that is suitable for them. Members don’t have to agree with each other on everything. There is a lively discussion in which we learn from each other out of mutual respect and friendship. We challenge each other’s beliefs and perceptions in order to collaborate on finding better ways to live and getting closer to the truth. By conversing with people who disagree with us, we can sometimes learn and develop ourselves more than by conversing only with people who agree with us.
Avoiding gossip. If someone has a problem with someone else, they should talk about it directly and not behind their back.
Listening with empathy and compassion. Communicating effectively, from the heart, using a neutral description of reality, and sharing emotions, needs, and requests. Read more…
Listening to myself, being aware of what is right for me, and communicating about it openly, even and especially when I have fears about doing so – fear that I will be judged for who I really am, what I feel, need, and want, or fear that others will feel hurt by what I say.
Asking permission before giving feedback
While the community encourages helping each other develop, the giving of advice or feedback to others is done only after asking them whether they would like that at the moment. This is done out of respect for the other person’s personal sovereignty, and in light of our goal of communicating effectively (the person may not be ready at that moment to receive advice or feedback).
One does not join an existing group conversation without asking for permission, as the group may be having a private conversation. One does not dominate a conversation. We pay attention to the more quiet people who sit on the side and invite them to join so we can hear their important voice (and of course it’s ok if they choose to remain silent).
In our meetings, we put an emphasis on creating a very special atmosphere of openness, freedom, gentleness, presence, awareness, and connection. A kind of experience and state of consciousness through which we can remember that there is a lot of mystery in existence and life on Earth. We want to reach insights and knowledge not only through our analytical mind but also through other aspects of our psychological experience.
This is possible through paying attention to beauty and pleasantness in the meeting space, and using tools of imagination, music, movement, breathing, art, special artifacts, elements from nature, and sometimes rituals. This helps us create an experience which is fun, juicy, exciting, meaningful, deep, and full of positive intention. It is important to balance the heaviness of sharing emotional pain with breaks of lightness and joy.
Unleashing our power
We aim that participants would experience meaningful breakthroughs in their lives. We can see how something shines out of the core of every human. It is moving and exciting – there is a special magic that takes place here. Some people who are at first closed, diminished, or unhappy gradually feel completely different, much move lively, open, and powerful. They develop trust and faith in life, and an appreciation for their existence and development process. This helps people to re-connects to their power to create themselves.
People start radiating new energy out of so much power and joy that they magnetize others around them. We envision how thousands and millions of people will shed their false masks they had to put on themselves, and radiate something beautiful and powerful, of what it means to live life to its fullest. This is what enables social change on a massive scale, because people who feel fully alive, excited, and connected to themselves are unstoppable.